Trams Trains and Elevators

Let everyone who is getting off the tram, train or elevator actually get off before attempting to embark.

If you are trying to get off a tram, train or lift and people are getting on without waiting for you - then you can try elbowing them a little bit as you pass. They don't seem to like that very much. Too bad, the rude bastards.

Mobile phones and public toilets

For goodness sake - DON'T EVER talk on your mobile phone when you are in a public toilet cubicle!

If you go into a public toilet and discover someone on the phone - you have my full permission to sing "On the Toilet, On the Toilet" at the top of your voice whilst enthusiastically flushing away in the adjacent cubicle.

Rules for doing the Age Quiz

• For one point questions you get one guess.
• For two point questions you get two guesses. If one of them is right then you get two points.
• For three point questions you get three guesses (unless it is multiple choice with three choices – then you can only choose two of them). If one of them is right then you get three points.
• If you guess the answer correctly before the asker has finished asking the question then you get an extra point.
• If you get the answer wrong but the answer you gave starts with the same letter as the correct answer then you get half a point.
• If the answer is a full name (ie: Mikhail Kalashnikov) and you only remember the first or the second name then you get full points.
• If you get the answer wrong but everyone thinks that your answer is hilarious, then you get a point.
• All answers are agreed on by consensus - you are doing this quiz as a team! Having said that - if someone has suggested the correct answer but everyone else has disagreed and written down an incorrect answer - then you still get full points.

The Nine to Nine Rule

Simple really. Mum taught me this one:

Never call a person you don't know very well before 9am or after 9pm.

Rule no. 492

It's wrong to call someone on the phone and then eat in their ear.

If you ring someone and interrupt their eating, they should be allowed to continue their eating. It's not their fault that you interrupted them in the middle of eating.